Vision

Acts 8: 26-40

26But an angel of the Lord spoke to Philip saying, "Get up and go south to the road that descends from Jerusalem to Gaza." (This is a desert road.)

27So he got up and went; and there was an Ethiopian eunuch, a court official of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, who was in charge of all her treasure; and he had come to Jerusalem to worship,

28and he was returning and sitting in his chariot, and was reading the prophet Isaiah.

29Then the Spirit said to Philip, "Go up and join this chariot."

30Philip ran up and heard him reading Isaiah the prophet, and said, "Do you understand what you are reading?"

31And he said, "Well, how could I, unless someone guides me?" And he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.

32Now the passage of Scripture which he was reading was this:
"HE WAS LED AS A SHEEP TO SLAUGHTER;
AND AS A LAMB BEFORE ITS SHEARER IS SILENT,
SO HE DOES NOT OPEN HIS MOUTH.
33"IN HUMILIATION HIS JUDGMENT WAS TAKEN AWAY;
WHO WILL RELATE HIS GENERATION?
FOR HIS LIFE IS REMOVED FROM THE EARTH."

34The eunuch answered Philip and said, "Please tell me, of whom does the prophet say this? Of himself or of someone else?"

35Then Philip opened his mouth, and beginning from this Scripture he preached Jesus to him.

36As they went along the road they came to some water; and the eunuch said, "Look! Water! What prevents me from being baptized?"

37And Philip said, "If you believe with all your heart, you may." And he answered and said, "I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God."]

38And he ordered the chariot to stop; and they both went down into the water, Philip as well as the eunuch, and he baptized him.

39When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord snatched Philip away; and the eunuch no longer saw him, but went on his way rejoicing.

40But Philip found himself at Azotus, and as he passed through he kept preaching the gospel to all the cities until he came to Caesarea.

I have been praying for a vision. For guideance. For some sort of direction.

For a long time I have felt that my prayers have not been answered. What am I passionate about? What are my gifts? What do I LOVE to do? As Jess says, "What makes my heart race?"

The past week and a half has been rough. Physically, mentally, spiritually, I have been drained. I have hit my wall and have had to continue to move forward. But, because He is so good, I have experienced more of Christ.

Two things I have leared...

First of all is that my prayers have not been in vain. My praying and seeking the face of the Lord, I have learned more about the character of the Lord. I have pleaded with Him. I have worshipped Him. I have been drawn near to Him.

MY prayers do not need to be answered.

Instead, my heart needs to be aligned with His, and He has helped me to see that. Following Christ does not mean doing what you want to do and following Him on the side. Following Christ means altering your entire life so that you are always in line with His will.

So I prayed that the Lord would mess me up. I prayed that He would break me of any idols in my life. I prayed that He would so turn my life upside down that I would only know that it was from Him and not of myself.

Recently, He has shown me that I have made California, and in particular, San Diego, a non-negotiable. I have desired to go there for so long that I have made it a huge idol and the Lord has given me a very clear and resounding “NO” to move to San Diego. What the heck? Are you kidding me? But I have packed up my entire life to move out here and now I have to turn around a go right back home? This can’t be happening! So, now what? Give me something more….

I wanted a vision. A long-term goal for my life.

And then I read Acts 8 and He showed me what was up.

The Holy Spirit told Philip to go south to the road. That’s all he got.

Once he was there, the Spirit said, “Hey, you see that chariot? Well go over there.”

Once he was there, Philip was given the words to speak truth to the Ethiopian and the man was eventually baptized.

Philip did not know from the beginning what was going to happen. All he did was follow the little pieces of the puzzle that the Spirit was giving him. He did not have an end result in mind. There was no long-term vision that some Ethiopian eunuch would be baptized through Philip’s obedience.

I realize that my thoughts may be getting very jumbled now, but stay with me…

I don’t know where to go next. Dallas is a very good option, but I am not sold on it just yet.

The second thing is that I have been able to see (through the leading of the Holy Spirit) how I have been given pieces of the puzzle as I have needed them.

I was led to quit my teaching job to go to San Diego. The day I quit my job, I was offered a job I didn’t even apply for in Tahoe. In the process of accepting the Young Life job, the Spirit revealed to me my idols and has broken me. Had I not come here, I would already be in San Diego and would not have seen my own sin. (Thank you, Jesus, for saving me!) And now I know that there cannot be San Diego right now, but I’m not sure what’s next and that’s okay.

I have to believe that the Spirit WILL show me the next step when I need to know it. Right now I just need to know that there cannot be San Diego so that I can deal with breaking this idol.

Acts has rocked my world this summer.

I have seen the importance of community and following the Spirit.

I hope this makes sense. But if it doesn’t, welcome to my head and heart these days…

About a week and a half ago an old friend was able to come and visit me at the Lodge. This is a very big deal becuase in my 5 summers of working at a camp, no one has ever come to visit me.

Brandy blessed me.

We played at King's Beach on Lake Tahoe and the wind was so strong that the waves were big enough for us to surf our kayaks on them.

We had some great deep conversations and just were able to catch up after about 3 years of not having seen each other.

Thank you B, for coming to visit. You blessed me more than you know.

While we were at King's Beach, we found this great store which I had seen on my way to the Lodge one day but could never find again. It was a glorious moment when we parked and began to walk to the beach and realized that the store was in fact at the very place where we were.

The store is called "As you Wish" and they sell "enchanted gifts.

"Princess Bride" anyone?

Since we have been quoting "The Princess Bride" all summer, my friend Joey and I were so excited.

There were ridiculous trinkets and constumes in this store--Mom, you would love it!

The outside of the store even comes equipped pirates and a wishing well. Needless to say we thouroughly enjoyed our time at King's Beach.

Anybody want a peanut?

FIRE!

South Lake Tahoe has been on fire for the past week.

3100 acres have burned.

Over 250 homes have been destroyed.

It is currently about 75% contained.

It is a tragedy.

But I am okay.

The lodge is about 35 miles from the fires, so we are safe. We have had to make many changes to our program because of the fires, but we have been able to see the Lord work in majestic ways. He worked out the kinks and reminded us that there are bigger things going on to pray for than our program.

We were still able to go to the north shore of the lake...



And because of the the change of program, we were able to peak Donner Peak and Mt. Judah overlooking Donner Lake. Needless to say, it was very windy, but very beautiful...


Thank you guys so much for your thoughts and prayers and phone calls this week. I am safe and doing very well. There has been a lot of smoke in the air, but all is well. Please pray for the victims of the fire. Love you all.

Giving it all

"But a man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property and kept back some of the price for himself with his wife's full knowledge, and bringing a portion of it, he laid it at the apostles' feet. But Peter said, 'Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back some of the price of the land? While it remained unsold, did it not remain your own? And after it was sold, was it not under your control? Why is it that you have conceived this deed in your heart? You have not lied to men but to God.'

And as he heard these words, Ananias fell down and breathed his last; and great fear came over all who heard of it. The young men got up and covered him up, and after carrying him out, they buried him. Now there elapsed an interval of about three hours, and his wife cam in, not knowing what had happened.

And Peter responded to her, 'Tell me whether you sold the land for such and such a price?' And she said, 'Yes, that was the price.'

Then Peter said to her, 'Why is it that you have agreed together to put the Spirit of the Lord to the test? Behold, the feet of those who have buried your husband are at the door; and they will carry you out as well.'

And immediately she fell at his feet and breathed her last, and the young men came in and found her dead, and they carried her out and buried her beside her husband."

Acts 5: 1-10

Ananias held back from the Lord what was the Lord's and he died.

Dead.

As in no life.

Simply for wanting to keep some of the money for himself.

When his wife confirmed the price, she feel dead as well.

Simply for holding back a little bit of extra cash for later.

These are HUGE words that I have never taken seriously. Not giving all that I am, all that I own, all that I have to the Lord will result in death--most likely not physical death, but spiritual death.

I am more fearful of the latter.

So, what is the application of this verse in our world today when we will not be physically killed if we do not give everything to the Lord? How do I see and feel the weight of spiritual death as a result of not giving it all?

This is a question I have been wrestling with all week.

I want so badly to know the Lord's plan for my life, but scripture says that He won't tell me until I give it all to Him. Until I get rid of all the idols in my life. Until I rid myself of the pride I cling so tightly to. Until I let go of MY plans and let HIS take root--whatever they may be.

Now I am here. Trying so badly to figure it all out, knowing full well that I may never--and most likely will never--figure it all out.

Clinging to His promises.

Clinging to His word.

Basking in His glory shown in His creation and through the community He has placed me in.

Trying so hard to show these high school students who Jesus is by joyfully unloading kayaks when I would rather by sleeping.

By giving Him my all when I don't always feel as though I have much to give.

But knowing that I want nothing else than to give Him my all.

This week has been amazing. Hard, of course, but amazing! My highlight, however, has been my two days on Lake Tahoe. Did you know that if you emptied Lake Tahoe, it would fill up the state of California to a depth of 2 feet! This lake is immense. It's so huge, and so deep, and so blue. I have spent the last two Wednesdays on the lake playing lifeguard (thank you Pine Cove). So, the majority of my day is spent laying on a rocky beach and kayaking with some kids.

Meet Joe, Levi, and Emmeline. Joe is a fellow intern and Levi and Emmeline are my boss' kids--they're hilarious.


Since we have had such small camps these first two weeks, I have had the privilage of learning how to wakeboard. The water was freezing and I thought I was going to die, but it was so much fun. I took a few huge spills and ate a lot of water, but it was worth it. I can now say that I learned how to wakeboard on Lake Tahoe. Here's me attempting to go over the wake. Apparently I "buttered the wake" which is a wakeboarding move, but I didn't even know it. I ate it a few seconds later!


So far, this has been a great adventure. Today I went for a two hour run/walk/hike and ended up at the top of a small cliff overlooking Donner Lake. The Lord spoke to me there. More clearly than He ever has. I am grateful. So grateful that His has put me in a place where I am getting more of Him.

A New Endeavor

Since I am the only one who ever updates the Six Chicks blog, I decided to start my own “Private Practice”. I know, I know…it’s not creative, but I thought it was clever, so I’m going to go with it. I feel like there is a lot of pressure on this endeavor. With so many amazing blogs out there, I have much of an occasion to rise to, but I am excited to write about other things other than just updates—the main reason for the Chicks’ blog. I am not saying that I am abandoning our beloved blog like Sarah and Brookie did once they started their own blogs, I am simply supplementing the updates.

So, to begin….

I have recently begun a new stage in my life. It has only been about two weeks but it has been very hard. I cannot describe the dichotomy of emotions that are going on between my heart and my head, but I know that right now this is how I will get more of Jesus, so this is where I will go.

On the way to the Lake Tahoe area, Kevin and Patrick (my brother and his friend) stopped at a few amazing spots. We first went to Taos, NM and white water rafted down the Rio Grande. We then went to Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Parks to see the HUGE trees and then on to Yosemite to see the most amazing piece of God’s creation I have ever seen in my entire life.
When we were on the Rio Grande our raft guide told us that it took millions of years for the river to carve out the canyon where we were rafting. For a very long time I believed the very same thing, but as I was floating down the river I was more in awe of the fact that the Creator of the universe made this canyon just like it is so that we could have a blast rafting down it.

As He was creating the world He just said, “Hey, I’d like an awesome canyon right there.”

And it was that simple.

One word.

One command.

All so that we could enjoy His creation.

Sounds crazy, but doesn’t the scientific theory have a crazy factor as well.

One must have a lot of faith to believe that water could create such a huge canyon.

One must also have a lot of faith to believe that an all-powerful being could create such a huge canyon.

Personally, I like the latter one better.

I love the idea that the same God who could do such a massive thing with His creation also desires a personal and intimate relationship with me.

It makes me feel very small and very loved at the same time.

Over the past two weeks I have been completely awed by His magnificent creation. Hills that turn into mountains with huge lakes and roaring rivers running throughout have amazed me.


The other day I went on a hike and on June 6th it suddenly started snowing! Are you kidding me? Stuff like this doesn't happen just because. Thank you Jesus! It was absolutely amazing.

I love that our God wanted to bless us by showing off just how good He is.

Funny how we are blessed by Him showing off His power.

Although this new adventure has been hard and challenging and I miss what I left behind a lot, I have seen Jesus. I have received more of Him. I have seen His glory in His creation and through His people.