I am a restless person. Resting is so hard for me. I am always looking for the next adventure.
Looking for the next rush.
I have never had a job for over a year. Since I graduated high school, I have moved 8 times.
Eight.
Are you kidding me. My parents have only moved twice. And they have been married for over 30 years.
I should get a prize for that.
I am a wanderer. A dabbler. I leave at the peak of my stay so that I don't overstay my welcome.
I guess my heart just yearns for something more--so I just move on. And I leave everything else--and everyone else--behind.
Don't get me wrong, I have great friends all over the country and stay in great contact with most of them. But as for me--I leave. I move on to what I think are bigger and better things.
And so the cycle continues.
I mean, I just started my teaching job (yes, I got a teaching job in Irving teaching Chemistry and IPC) and on my first day I was already thinking about what I could do next year instead of teaching at this school. What is my problem?
But, what if this whole time, the thing that I have needed most is rest?
And, maybe I just have that nature about me. Maybe I will be a wanderer for the rest of my life. (Although I hope not, because the idea of being "settled" sounds so great!) Maybe I will, though, always feel the call to move to a new place.
But what I need to learn is how to rest while I am wherever I am. I need to be all here. This is something that I have known for a long time, but have to be reminded of.
My new teaching job is very stressful and overwhelming so I am very busy, but I am learning how to be all there. I am learning how to be completely content with THIS job, in THIS city, with THESE people. Although I am very busy, I feel very rested. Very stable. Very content.
We'll see how long THIS will last!!!
9 comments:
I HEART CLAIRE BORNE A LOT!!!!!!
Oh Claire, I understand exactly what you are talking about here. Rest is something I have learned a lot about in the last month and have some neat things to share with ya sometime. Oh the wanderer lifestyle and how it calls us from place to place.
good stuff cla.
this "always waiting for the next big thing" is a bunkmate plague.
rest is hard.
stillness is hard.
but i know i need it. long for it, actually.
i just told emily last night, "don't you wish something really exciting was ust around the corner?"
what?!
i live in freakin' italy.
i have a problem.
being "settled" does sound fantastic, but i honestly wonder if i will let myself be content in that stage. what if i fight it?
basically this all comes down to trusting the Lord.
and i know that.
do i trust that He REALLY wants what's best for me?
that's my thoughts.
i miss you cla.
can't wait to hear more about the job.
i like the new header.
very nice.
i feel the rei vibe.
You can thank D.O.
He made it.
If you want you can rest on my shoulder, I like when you do that.
Ahem.
Time for an update.
Love the new layout. Thanks, D.O.
Aimee
I am old and I am learning to rest between His secure Shoulders...and I am so finding REST in HIM...
We have never made it back to Matt's church. If we ever darken The Village door, we will so let you know...
Would you like to adopt one of Brookie's orphans for Christmas? Come see...
Deut 33:12 is my prayer for you this balmy Saturday morning:
Let Claire who is so loved by her LORD rest secure in Him today for He shield her all day long. And the one, Claire, the Lord loves rests between His Shoulders.
I love you to pieces Claire! Bev
Amen, amen, Claire. It is high time you stop and take the time to smell the roses and just BE CLAIRE. No one expects you to do or go or be anything other than what or where or who you are at this moment. Be patient - you will find your way, I promise! Just know that we all love you and support you and are proud of you, not matter what - or where - tho CLOSER would be infinitely better than FARTHER! In any event, you have given us some really cool places to visit. Maybe your purpose is to drag us kicking and screaming out of OUR comfort zone and into yours - who knows? Only Him, and He will tell us when He is good and ready. All we have to do is wait...and listen...sometimes the two most difficult things to do, especially for us Borneos! Give yourself a break - you deserve it! We can't wait to see you!
Love, Mom
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